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Recipes: View One
Submitted by: RunningFool
Recipe name: Oreo Cake
Recipe: This is my very-much customized recipe for Oreo cake. It is fucking fantastic, if you follow the instructions to a T. Don't make any exceptions. Not any!
WHAT YOU WILL NEED:
-Two 8-inch cake pans
-One oven capable of reaching 350ºF
-Two oven mitts (a.k.a. "hot pads")
-One large mixing bowl
-One medium-sized mixing bowl
-One fork
-One sharp knife
-One non-sharp knife (a.k.a. "butter knife")
-Two large plates
-One small plate
-Eight small plates for serving
-One rubber scraper
-One grater
-A couple toothpicks
-One package Pillsbury Moist Deluxe white cake mix
-One container Pillsbury Creamy Supreme Vanilla frosting
-Fourteen Oreos
-Four egg whites
-5/4 cup water
-1/3 cup vegetable oil
-Some butter (~1/2 Tbsp.)
-A little flour (~1 Tbsp.)
-8 glasses of milk
-Strong forearms
WHAT YOU WILL NOT NEED
-9-inch cake pans
-Pam
-Margarine
-A whisk
-A refrigerator
-A bad attitude, mister!
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Do not preheat oven. Seriously.
2. In large mixing bowl, combine cake mix, 4 egg whites, 5/4 cup water, and 1/3 vegetable oil. Mix rigorously with fork for about 5 minutes, or until your arm REALLY hurts (whichever comes later, wuss).
3. Using fingers, grease bottoms and sides of cake pans using real butter. Be sure to spread the butter evenly.
4. Put a little flour in the cake pans and shake the pan until the bottom and sides are coated in the flour. Remove all excess flour. Make sure there are no clumps or places where butter/flour is missing.
5. Go back and beat the cake/eggs/water/oil relentlessly with your fork for another 4-5 minutes. Your arm should be throbbing with pain by now.
6. With a sharp knife, chop 4 of your Oreos in half (use the pattern on the cookie as a reference and cut between the R and the E to ensure an even split). Set aside your 8 halves on a small plate.
7. Furiously mix the cake again for as long as you can muster.
8. Twist apart 2 Oreos and use a sharp knife to scrape all the frosting off both sides. Eat the creme filling, but don't lick it off the sharp knife, cause you might cut your tongue off, and then you wouldn't be able to taste this wonderful cake. Using a grater (small holes; the bigger holes are a shredder), make a coarse powder out of the 4 wafers.
9. In medium mixing bowl, mix Oreo powder with vanilla frosting. Use a rubber scraper to get all the frosting out of the container.
10. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
11. Ferociously whip your cake mix for another 5 minutes. At this point, your cake should be smoother than silk. If there are any lumps whatsoever, keep mixing.
12. Crush the remaining 8 Oreos into the cake mix, making sure no chunk of Oreo is bigger than a dime. Mix cake so that the Oreo chunks are evenly distributed.
13. Fill the buttered and floured pans with the cake mix, taking care that the pans each have half the mixture. Use a rubber scraper to get all the cake mix out of the bowl.
14. Bake at 350ºF for 20-30 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in middle comes out clean.
15. Let cake cool in pans for ~5 minutes.
16. Remove cake from pans and place on plates, with the flat side of the cake facing down.
17. Let cool for 4-6 hours. Do not skimp on the cooling, or your cake will fall apart when you frost it. Do not refrigerate, do not touch, do not pass GO, do not collect 200 dollars.
18. Once cake is completely cool to the touch, flip the less-rounded of the two cake-halves over so that the round side is on the plate.
19. Frost flat top of first cake-half generously. If necessary, spread thin layer of frosting first to keep cake from mixing with frosting.
20. Place second cake-half on top of the first, with the flat side down.
21. Frost top and sides of cake. The frosting on the sides should be about 2/3 as thick as the frosting between the layers; the frosting on the top should be about 4/5 as thick as the middle layer. Make sure the cake is evenly frosted.
22. Place the 8 Oreo-halves in a circle on the cake with the cut surface directly on the cake. Place cookies on cake halfway between outer edge and center, spaced evenly, pointing inward.
23. Cut cake into 8 even slices, each with an Oreo-half on top. If guest asks for "just a little slice," cry until they leave or take the whole slice.
24. Serve each slice with a glass of milk.
